10 Ways To Be a Better Father and Husband & New Episode of The Perspectivalist
Men, don’t waste your headship! Use it for the good of the family and the church. You have a spectacular opportunity to increase in wisdom and knowledge, and the time is always right before you.
Sometimes, a straightforward post with practical advice can be encouraging. These are ten direct expectations that arise from the biblical text and the common experience of delight among husbands/fathers that I have witnessed as a pastor for the last 18 years. So, I offer them to you.
10 Godly Expectations
a) It doesn’t matter how many times I say it, but it needs to be repeated until it pierces the Christian masculine soul: under normal circumstances, the worship of the Church is not optional. It is what the Lord requires of you.
Men often allow the woman’s emotions to control the home. When the wife leads the religious decisions of the home, the house becomes disoriented. Now, she may lead in the direction of right worship while the men quietly go along, but that entire orientation needs to be subdued by God’s hierarchy.
Men are called to make decisions concerning the spirituality of the home. If you allow your wife or other circumstances to dictate your faithfulness to worship God with his people, you are weakened, and your soul and the life of your home are at significant risk of apostasy or apathy.
b) Your children will grow to annoy you if you do not invest in them now. Love. Care. Spend time. Read. Play. Hug. Kiss. Instruct. You won’t be annoyed with your future children when you invest in the present. The most significant wealth a man can have is the friendship and blessing of their grown children. Parent for the future.
c) Husbands should make public displays of affection in the home. Kiss the wife of your youth, love her with deeds of mercy, text her at midday, romance her with kindness, grill good meat for the family, and make her job at home as easy as possible by making yourself useful. If you don’t know what that looks like, ask her. She will tell you. Men who arrive home after the workday to dictate imperatives angrily have not learned how to love properly. Come home ready to roll your sleeves and love your spouse by preparing for the end of the day. Masculinity is the art of a good death. Good men lay their lives down!
d) Family devotions can quickly become dull or non-existent in the home. The secret is to make them short and participatory. Men, most of you are not pastors and don’t play one on TV. Don’t play preacher to your kids. They will resent you. Ask questions. Sing at the table. Pray. Don’t extend the time. Make it concise and joyful.
e) Read. If you don’t read or listen to at least 5-7 books in a year, you’re a poor leader in the home. We no longer live in a society where men don’t read. Podcasts are not replacements for good books. If reading is unbearable or some other deficiency keeps you from it, get an Audible/Everand subscription and start catching up. The future will belong to readers.
f) Pray like a man. “But I don’t have a habit of praying for me or my family.” Then, get a copy of the “Valley of Vision” or Evelyn Underhill’s “Prayer Book” on Amazon. And read those and learn how to pray by reading the prayers of the saints! I have heard too many times from young people after they leave home that they were never taught how to pray or how to pray. Richard Pratt’s Pray with Your Eyes Open or Andrew Sandlin’s Prayer Changes Things is a great introduction.
g) Serve your church. “But I work odd hours and only have a few hours to spend with my family on the weekends.” That’s irrelevant. If your church has a set-up to do, widows in need, people moving into town, or other needs, there will always be time for service, even if only a bit here and there. And if you are concerned about not spending enough time with your kids, take them to serve. I guarantee your family time in service will be equally profitable as anything you can do together.
h) Sing God’s songs together. “But I can’t sing.” Have you ever heard of YouTube? Or, our favorite SingYourPart app? Psalms, hymns—it’s all there, even the parts to each piece. No more excuses, gents. Gather around the dinner table with a few printouts and sing something. If you don’t know where to start, start with the doxology. For help, download the Sing Your Part app. Here is my interview with one of the founders.
i) Get together with other men. “But my wife does not want me to go out at night with my friends.” Tell her that spending time with other godly saints will make you a better husband. Don’t isolate your masculinity. Help her put the kids down and take time once or every other week to spend with other men. On the other hand, if you don’t extend the favor to your wife, you’re an idiot who needs a firm rebuke. And even better, spend time together with other couples.
j) Watch good movies together. You can just quit isolating your style from others in the household. A little here and there is okay, but when you have adult kids watching one thing, you're watching something else, and your spouse is watching something else, you have isolated the family from an exercise that may build healthy bonds and provide a forum for exciting conversations. Establish a top-ten movie list to watch as a family. Begin with good classics.
Men, don’t waste your headship! Use it for the good of the family and the church. You have a spectacular opportunity to increase in wisdom and knowledge, and the time is always right before you. Take these expectations to heart and start gaining ground! Your family will praise you at the gates, and you shall see your children’s children compassing thy table round!
Notations
Mrs. Lydia Slaughter always updates the Church Calendar graph. Here is the latest as we prepare for the beginning of the new church year on November 30th.
🎙️ The Perspectivalist Podcast
Episode Title: Canon, Clarity, and Claims of Certainty: Protestantism vs. Orthodoxy
Summary: In this episode, Austin and Uri continue their series on the psychology of conversion, diving deeper into the claims of Eastern Orthodoxy—particularly on canonical authority and private judgment—as well as the nature of biblical interpretation within the wider Christian tradition.
Key Points Covered:
Orthodox Claim on Canonical Authority Eastern Orthodoxy asserts that the Bible is recognized through the Church’s “faithful memory” or holy tradition, rather than being self-authenticating. Protestants argue instead for the clarity and authority of Scripture itself, upheld by the Spirit working through the Church.
Private Judgment Debate Orthodoxy criticizes Protestants for reliance on private interpretation, pointing to “20,000 denominations” as evidence. But we challenge this narrative by noting that inescapable diversity and interpretive variance exist within Orthodoxy as well.
Impressionism in Orthodoxy Drawing from Joshua Schuping’s Disillusion [Book Link], the episode explores both “high” and “low” impressionistic styles of interpretation in Orthodox circles—proving the charge of individualism cannot be laid solely at Protestant feet.
Inescapability of Human Judgment Whether Protestant, Orthodox, or Catholic, all believers must wrestle with history, authority, and interpretation. We quote Robin Phillips’s excellent critique of Orthodox epistemology in Eastern Orthodoxy and the Lure of Epistemological Romanticism [Article Link], which highlights this unavoidable human condition.
Challenges for Orthodox Unity Today Uri highlights practical and moral divergences among Orthodox jurisdictions (e.g. Ukrainian vs. Russian churches), raising questions about the practicality of universal conciliar authority in modernity.
Biblical Witness to Clarity and Sufficiency The episode closes by grounding the Protestant view of Scripture in key biblical texts such as Luke 1:1–4, John 10:27, and 2 Peter 3:15–16.
“The quest for certainty is deeply human—but when we seek it beyond the sacred Scriptures, we multiply complexities. Sola scriptura is not isolationist: it’s an invitation to submit to the voice of God, amidst the counsels of the faithful.” – Uri Brito
Disillusion: A Pilgrimage through Orthodoxy, Catholicism & Evangelicalism by Joshua Schuping – [Amazon Link]
Eastern Orthodoxy and the Lure of Epistemological Romanticism by Robin Phillips – [Article Link]
1 John 1:1–4, Luke 1:1–4, 2 Peter 3:15–16 – [Bible Gateway]